Krista and I both agree that the past couple of days have been among the hardest of our lives. Mia P is deep in grieving yet another upheaval, yet another situation she's been thrust into. She swings between almost manic delight and inconsolable sadness. Again, it's part of what it feels like to be rescued. We just want to enter into it with her as much as she'll let us, even more than she wants us to.
For the first few days I was glad that Ada and Evelyn were here for their sakes, so they could have the amazing experience of coming to China. Then I was glad that they were here for their new sister's sake, to help draw her into the family. But they've been so much more: full of kindness and comfort and fun for all of us, pitching in as babysitters for their sister, loving on her, playing with her, even helping with feeding and bathtime. We're superlucky to have 3 precious daughters.
And yesterday, Mia and I had a breakthrough. After putting her down for a nap Krista took the girls for some relaxation – the girls went swimming and Krista hung out by the lovely pool. I worked for an hour in the hotel room, listening to make sure Mia was okay next door. After an hour I heard sniffling, so I peeked around the corner – and honestly, I was dreading her reaction. But she was just standing in the dark, looking at me. She let me pick her up, and sing to her for almost half an hour, and then let me dress her and play softly on the couch until the other girls got back.
The rest of the day was really tender. She bounces from person to person, playing with Ada for an hour, then Eve, then Mommy. And now I'm in the fold, too. Especially when it comes to things like bouncing on the bed.
One more memory worth writing down here, because it was a moment that she let us into a bit more of herself, and I don't ever want to forget it. As we put her down last night, she started sobbing again, and pushing backward, wanting not to be touched. But we came close to her, and were touching her face, and telling her that we love her in Chinese.
And then something pretty incredible happened. We had given her some ibuprofen for a little cough, from a needle-less syringe like pharmacists give out, and she wanted to hold it. When we gave it to her, she pulled up her pants leg and poked the needle-less tip of it into her thigh over and over again, and then found an extra bandage and started wrapping her leg with it. She looked at us, crying, as she did this but she also let us kiss her leg, and ask her if it hurts in Chinese, and stroke her face for a long time. Then Krista held her until she went to sleep.
In all of it, here's something we remind ourselves – if adoption is a good thing, then it's not an abstract good. It's a particular good. To go even farther, if it's something that God wants the Ludwicks to do, then it's not just because he wants us to be adopters, or for her to stop being an orphan. It's because he wants this particular girl to be part of our particular family. Because he wants Mia for us, and us for Mia.
For the first few days I was glad that Ada and Evelyn were here for their sakes, so they could have the amazing experience of coming to China. Then I was glad that they were here for their new sister's sake, to help draw her into the family. But they've been so much more: full of kindness and comfort and fun for all of us, pitching in as babysitters for their sister, loving on her, playing with her, even helping with feeding and bathtime. We're superlucky to have 3 precious daughters.
The rest of the day was really tender. She bounces from person to person, playing with Ada for an hour, then Eve, then Mommy. And now I'm in the fold, too. Especially when it comes to things like bouncing on the bed.
One more memory worth writing down here, because it was a moment that she let us into a bit more of herself, and I don't ever want to forget it. As we put her down last night, she started sobbing again, and pushing backward, wanting not to be touched. But we came close to her, and were touching her face, and telling her that we love her in Chinese.
And then something pretty incredible happened. We had given her some ibuprofen for a little cough, from a needle-less syringe like pharmacists give out, and she wanted to hold it. When we gave it to her, she pulled up her pants leg and poked the needle-less tip of it into her thigh over and over again, and then found an extra bandage and started wrapping her leg with it. She looked at us, crying, as she did this but she also let us kiss her leg, and ask her if it hurts in Chinese, and stroke her face for a long time. Then Krista held her until she went to sleep.
Love this, guys! I have so enjoyed reading this over the last few days/weeks. Praying for Mia's continued adjustments to becoming a part of your precious family. Love to all of you!
ReplyDelete~Jill